Someone tried to steal my sunshine today. I’m such a positive person, and Mama taught me some good southern manners, so I’m always a little shocked when someone doesn’t share my genuine love for treating people with kindness and respect. And this patronizing little storm cloud of condescension shocked me into silence. You know that emoji with the big eyes and mouth wide open? That was me. That little thunderstorm hovered over me for awhile, and the clouds threatened to well up and spill over as tears, until some friends helped me push the ‘reset’ button to start my day over. But y’all, it was really hard to not dwell on the hurt and rudeness thrown at me! But part of living a resilient mid-life is learning how to deal with all kinds of people, even cloudy people. I was trying to think how to title this post, based on what happened to me: “how to not be a rude person”, “hot to not act like a turd” (sorry mom) “how to handle negative people”… but I settled on this: “How to deal with cloudy people (when they storm on your life”.
- Don’t let cloudy people rain on your day. Their cloudiness is there problem, not yours. Even if they try to make their issues your issues, remember that they’re not! It’s not on you. That toxic cloud is not yours. In the words of Elsa, “Let it go, Let it go, Let it go!”
- Let courtesy and strength be your umbrella . This one I have a great deal of trouble with, but I’m learning. After my little episode today, a great lady told me that I should stand up for myself, but I absolutely HATE confrontation! Thus the mouth hanging open emoji style. I just don’t know what to say in those situations, especially when I’m in shock. So perhaps being prepared with a simple reply is best, and non-engagement is the smartest tactic. “Thank you for pointing that out.” “I appreciate your assistance.” Simple. Direct. Dignified and to the point. And non-confrontational. Hang up the phone or just walk away. That’s how I plan to deal with those storms from this point forward!
- Misery doesn’t love company! Listen. You really don’t know what’s going on in that person’s life to cause their nasty attitude. Unfortunately, some people are just miserable and unhappy, and for a variety of reasons – loneliness, past hurt, emotional troubles, etc. – they will attempt to make themselves feel better by trying to cause others to feel equally miserable. Don’t let yourself join in their misery and unhappiness. Don’t engage in a war of words with a cloudy person. There’s really no point.
- Pray for them and forgive them. Yep. Easier said than done. But part of letting it go is forgiving and moving forward with your day. Do it for yourself. Even if they don’t apologize. Pray for them. Forgive them. And move on…
- Focus on yourself and your blessings! Were you having a great day before they rained on your parade? Are you doing a fabulous job? Are you good at what you do? Are you blessed to be surrounded with amazing friends and family? If you can answer yes to just one of those questions, you’ve got all you need to fight off that thunder and lightning hurled your way. Focus on your blessings and all that God has done for you! And don’t forget…you are worthy, you are loved and you are enough!
Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope it will help you deal with the cloudy people in your life! Wishing you happiness, peace and a colorful umbrella full of joy to shield you from the storms!